While in Cairns the previous weeks, I noticed that slowly more and more Christmas decorations were being put up across the city. If you've ever been away from the snow for Christmas, you'll know it is a very strange feeling. Sitting by the pool in 30+ degrees, not wanting to move too much is not what I'm used to and does not put me in the Christmas spirit. But, there could be worse things happening in my life at the time than not feeling very Christmasy because the city I'm in has beautiful blue skies and hot weather.
We decided to spend our Christmas in Airlie Beach, which is the launch point for all the Whitsunday Island trips. Coming into Airlie was quite nice, they have beautiful hill side homes with views of the sea and a nice winding road into a small beach side town, pretty standard look for smaller east coast towns but nice none the less. We stayed in a hostel called Magnums, which was the party hostel of Airlie, complete with big loud bar attached and McDonald's directly beside it. This was the perfect location for a nice relaxing holiday season. One of the first things we did was book a our trip to the Whitsunday Islands, we decided on a Catameran sailing trip and booked it for between Christmas and New Years.
After being in Cairns for so long and doing so much drinking, I was at the point where I just wanted to take it easy and really just relax over the holidays (holiday within a holiday, Relaxception). The room we were given was perfect for this, it was right at the entrance to the cabin area so everyone had to walk by to get in and out (you had to walk through the bar to get to where all the rooms were, and they were separated into 2 floor cabins). So I would just sit outside with a few roomates (Irish guys) and sometimes Robert, have a few beers and chat to all the people walking by. Depending on how many beers the Irish guys would drink the comments to the passers by, normally females, would get increasingly funnier and more inappropriate; at one point one of the guys was just yelling out "DAAYYYUUUMMMMMM" as girls went by. This continued on into the evenings and through the night, and as the passers by got more drunk the conversations and antics got much more entertaining. I witnessed all kinds of crazy antics out there, ranging from people puking after being spun around to domestic disputes to people trying cartwheels and other aerial manoeuvres.
*WARNING: The following story contains sexual acts please skip if you are easily offended. Thank you*
The highlight of sitting outside the room was on Christmas day. It was the night time and as usual we were sitting outside the room, having a drink and chatting to the people. By this point we had a few more people gathered than normal, some with their own chairs, and a big enough group that I didn't talk to the people on the other side of the circle because they were too far and had other people obstructing my view. As it was Christmas, there were quite a few Santa hats floating around, but there was only one guy (from Scotland) who had the full suit and beard, and as expected he was getting a lot of attention from the ladies. He was going in and out of the bar quite frequently, but eventually he settled in our group and joined the conversation.
There were two Canadian girls (Note: At first I thought they were from Alberta, but when I met them again in Brisbane I found out they were from BC..but thats not very important. Another note: The louder of the two girls kept calling the other one a rookie..this comes into play later) sitting directly across from me, but there was a high table that obstructed my view of their
faces a bit. Santa decides it would be a good idea to give these girls a Christmas lap-dance, so with the music from the bar blaring, he proceeds to grind on the first girl (the quieter one) and basically just stick his junk in her face. She's having a good time, laughing and what not, and playing a long a little bit getting a bit more involved with her hands. This goes on for maybe twenty to thirty seconds before Santa moves on to the next girl, and being the dominant of the two friends she obviously had to out do her friend. As he's dancing on her, she gets a bit MORE involved with her hands than the first girl, and after a while she just pulls out "Santa's little helper" and proceeds to go to town on him (I'm referring to fellatio for those who aren't following). This goes on for a few seconds before one of the Irish guys tries to get the dudes attention, to which he replies "SHUT UP IM BUSY HERE!" So here we all are sitting around on Christmas night while Santa is getting a blow job after a hard night of delivering presents. Merry Christmas indeed. I couldn't have made the story any better if I tried.
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We were meant to depart for our Whitsunday Islands trip on either the 26th or 27th (can't remember anymore), but when we arrived the spokesperson told us the weather was not going to be ideal for sailing so we had to reschedule. We decided on rescheduling to New Years because, there was no other accommodation available at the time and we had nothing booked, so it wasn't all too bad that we had to change. Being on a sail boat for New Years was a bit of a tricky situation, if there is a good group then it could be amazing, but if the group is bad and even worse the boat itself is bad, then there's no where else to go and you're stuck in a sucky situation. Also, all the people we talked to were saying that Magnums during New Years is the place to be and why were we going on our trip at that time, etc etc.. And the final thing that had us a bit thrown was we met a girl who went on the trip a few days earlier and she hated it, she told us all the beds were wet all the time, the food wasn't great, and it was just all around not a great time.
I think in the end this helped make the trip better, going in with such low expectations there was no way it could turn out all that bad; and it didn't. Aside from the captain of the ship being a bit of a dickhead, everything turned out alright, we had a decent mix of people on the boat and the cook was pretty hot so I didn't really care what the food tasted like I just chatted with her the whole time and told her to was good anyway. For the actual New Years Eve celebration, we just chilled outside and played some funny drinking games and had our own little countdown, including sparklers and flashing lights provided by the crew (who were not allowed to drink unfortunately).
The next night however, was not so civilized, for me at least. I'll keep it brief because I don't actually remember much, but all I know is we were playing a drinking game called ride the bus, and I got through two rounds and had to be filled in on the rest the next day. Apparently, I was getting quite loud and rambunctious, and found myself outside banging on the skylight window of the cabins telling people to open the windows so I could jump down. Robert said he asked me why I wanted to jump down instead of just go through the door, and I said because it was much cooler this way. After jumping down through the skylight I promptly jumped into the bed of one of the Swedish girls who was on the boat, we had been talking a bit earlier so I guess I thought this was the best opportunity to make my move. She stayed and cuddled with me for a while, but then it either got too hot oorrrrrr she realized who was with her and she left and went to sleep outside with her friends. The day after was one of those "How are YOUUUU doing today, har har har" kind of days, letting you know that you made a bit of a fool of yourself the previous day and everybody knew it except you.
Apart from the drinking and festivities we did actually visit the islands during this time as well. We went to White Haven beach, which was absolutely gorgeous, the sand was so white, and the water was blue it was amazing; first time on the east coast that it reminded me of the water on the west coast. We only spent maybe an hour or so at the beach, which was a bit of a shame because it took a while to walk there from the shore that we arrived on. But it was still worth it to go.
When we arrived back on land, I was feeling pretty ill, I couldn't even eat my McDonalds, but it serves me right. Anyway, we decided not to stay another night in Airlie and to headout that day on our way to Brisbane (next big city on the coast). We stopped in a random little town called Maryborough and set up camp for the night, we also tried to use the kitchen of a caravan park but got caught and kicked out. Thug liiiiiiife.
Peace & Love
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